(Don Chance)

This is a list of quotes that, well, maybe no one said them or said them quite this way.  You may have heard of some of them or variations of some, but the author is usually unknown.  Yogi Berra gets credit for a lot of this kind of stuff, to which he says "I didn't say half the things I said."

A leader is someone to follow when a follower isn't leading.

When given a choice, always take it.

I'm envious of people who want everything.

I wish I had intuition, but I have a feeling it wouldn't help me.

I've been intending to stop procrastinating, but I keep putting it off.

The future looks good tomorrow, while the past looked bad yesterday.

The best of the worst is worse than the worst of the best.

I can't deal with intolerant people.

All of this hype about anger management makes me want to explode.

If I can't be where I am now, I'd rather be where I am some other time.

Don't be successful at failure.

I'll be candid with you:  there are some things I don't want you to know.

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get you.

To avoid disappointment, assume the worst.

It gets late early in the east.

If the cost of education is high and the cost of ignorance is higher, what is the cost of ignorance of education?

Economists always assume things, so start by assuming no economists.

There's no sense disagreeing over an argument.

Wal-Mart has gotten so crowded, no one goes there anymore.

Some say the glass is half-empty, others say it's half-full, and some say the glass is just too large.